Lorko's Modern Life

The life and times of a curious and introverted mind

One of my Yeezy tracks, crazy video too.

Memories

I hate it whenever my mind randomly recalls unpleasant memories from the past. It’s not like there’s a crazy amount of them, but my mind can recall them with such vividness, that it’s almost like hitting ‘play’ on a DVD. It’s pretty awkward to be honest. Ironically, the ones that aren’t even my memories tend to be the more powerful. If I ever get told a detailed story, my mind will create an elaborate vision based on pre-conceived notions like Inception. It’s always little things that indirectly trigger them too. Everything from songs, phrases, to locations, sets them off. They honestly make me wish that sometimes I didn’t pay attention or wasn’t so detail-oriented although I know it’s for the best. Thankfully, this works in reverse. Songs, phrases, and locations also have the ability to bring back some of the happiest memories I’ve had in quite some time. I wish I could take one without the other, but it doesn’t work like that. 

8/3 EDIT
I think I figured it out a bit thanks to random memories from today. It comes from me reflecting on the past and wondering how different things would be if I changed some of my decisions in the past. It sucks realizing that this is it too because of how irrelevant it is. I need to find a way to quiet my mind on these before it drives me insane. A lot of it pertains to what would have happened if I took different chances or did things differently. Of course it’s all decisions that I didn’t make that I think about if I did. I need to remind myself that the past is the past and it cannot be changed. Everything has worked out in the end and that’s all that matters.

My apt complex had a photo contest. I procrastinated waiting until the evening before they were due, spent no more than 20 minutes taking random photos, and won 2nd place which includes $150 off rent. Not a huge fan of the photo, but the fact that I winged it and still got 2nd is worth boasting to me. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I took one of the fliers down off the elevator in my building to help my odds … 

My apt complex had a photo contest. I procrastinated waiting until the evening before they were due, spent no more than 20 minutes taking random photos, and won 2nd place which includes $150 off rent. Not a huge fan of the photo, but the fact that I winged it and still got 2nd is worth boasting to me. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I took one of the fliers down off the elevator in my building to help my odds … 

They can’t comprehend, or even come close to understanding him…

Perception

My crystal paradigm built upon a perceived past

Fully re-imagined with fallacies to construct a picturesque story

Filled with observations that I knew weren’t fully realized or even accepted

Coupled with memories that were vastly under-estimated

Destroyed by the harsh realization of the factual precedent

Rocked to the foundation by the sizable magnitude of the actual truth

Being re-constructed by the conceptual future that lies ahead

Day by day, brick by brick, piece by piece; one at a time

Inceptioned a world without a totem with a refusal to wake up
  

____________________________________________________
 

- wrote this awhile ago, and found it on my computer the other day. While it might not be as relevant as when it was written or even the subject matter, I still felt it was worth posting. 

Shops by the sea in Bergen.

Shops by the sea in Bergen.

Stockholm back in 2008 when I studied abroad. I’d go there every summer if it was affordable. 

Stockholm back in 2008 when I studied abroad. I’d go there every summer if it was affordable. 

Random castle I found in London when studying abroad. I love the insane amount of detail on the building.

Random castle I found in London when studying abroad. I love the insane amount of detail on the building.

oneofthemohicans:

[NEW] The Mohicans - IDK Your Name (Snippet)

I always try to support good hip-hop. Bonus points for the fact they’re Red Raiders.